Is the grass really greener on the other side?
We have all heard the term “the grass is greener on the other side”
The idea behind the term is that there is always something better or missing, whether it be in relationships, our job, our living environment, or the life circumstances we find ourselves in. The problem with this “grass is greener” mentality is that it allows us to live in fear and prevents us from living presently and getting the most out of our lives.
When we think that the grass is greener somewhere else, we are placing blame on an external factor, something outside of ourselves, when the reality is that almost always the authors of our own unhappiness.
We place expectations on everything from people, our relationships, our jobs, we even have ideas about the way life should happen. But these expectations almost always lead to disappointment. Instead of expecting people to behave a certain way or expecting life to unfold in a certain manner, perhaps we should try to let go and
We are also all guilty of the “honeymoon syndrome”, where we are so excited and happy in the beginning of a relationship, or a new job, or new apartment, and then after a little while, when we have settled in, we feel underwhelmed and then think something is wrong. Really, we are simply no longer being stimulated by the blind excitement of something new. We fail to see that there is so much to learn and experience and build on after this honeymoon phase has passed. I like to always try to keep the mentality that I know nothing-nothing about my boyfriend of 6 years, nothing about fashion, nothing about life, nothing about food. Then everything becomes an opportunity to learn something new and life becomes exciting!
Then there is the issue of compromise. We sometimes fall into the trap of feeling that the compromise of certain desires, wants and needs feels like oppressive sacrifice. "I just want my boyfriend to (blank, blank and blank)”. “I just want to live in a bigger apartment…..”. “I just want to work at a job where…..”. When this happens, we are left with perception that there is something or someone else out there that will give us exactly what we want and that thing will make us happy. If we can only think about what is missing and must have everything that we want in order to be happy, then the grass will never be green enough. Happiness is in the moment we are in. It is not happy people that are grateful, but grateful people who are happy.
So instead of “the grass is greener on the other side”, let’s try to remember that the grass is green where you water it.
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