Breaking the habit of
apologizing for anything and everything isn't easy. But here are 6 things you start with and stop apologizing for.
1. What you eat
"Sorry, I'm
going to be bad and order a cheeseburger". "I'm sorry, I can't eat
that- I don't eat meat"- or the flip side- "I know you're vegetarian,
can I order burger though?". Whether you are a
salad loving, juicing, vegetarian or a burger and fries type of person, what
you put into your body is nobody's business. And don't apologize for your
dietary restrictions whether they be health related or a personal choice. Some
people are criticized for eating poorly and others (as I have been several
times) are judged for their "overly" healthy eating habits.
2. How you are
dressed
"I'm sorry I am
such a mess. I'm just so tired today". "Ugh. I feel so overdressed
compared to everyone else". Stop apologizing for being
over-dressed, under-dressed, for not wearing enough clothing, or for dressing
in an "unconventional" way that expresses who you are. I am not
saying you should roll into work in sweatpants or that you should wear your
pajamas in public. But if you throw on leggings because you're tired, having a
bad day, are feeling lazy, don't apologize for "looking like a mess".
If you are one who likes to get dressed regardless of your plans and will wear
your best outfit to the grocery store, don't apologize for it. Being who you
are doesn't require an apology.
3. Stating your
feelings
"I'm sorry but I
feel.....". "I don't mean to make a fuss but that really annoys
me".
Telling people what
you think and feel is a responsibility in any relationship. By letting someone
know how you feel, you’re helping that person understand you and if you don't
state your position and your feelings about any given thing, the other person
will never know and cannot be blamed for hurting or angering you down the road.
Don't apologize for stating your feelings. You are entitled to them. This
doesn't mean your pour it all out whenever the urge strikes, but telling
someone you don't like something, don't agree with something or that your
feelings are hurt is perfectly warranted. When we apologize for our feelings,
whether we are hurt or excited over something we are passionate about, we
minimize ourselves in a misguided attempt to protect others.
4. Other people's
behavior
Why do we apologize
when someone bumps into us on the street? As a formality? Because we think we
are being polite? It's not your fault so don't apologize. If the other person
apologizes, fine, but nothing is required from you. If you feel uncomfortable,
a simple "excuse me" will do. The same idea pertains to all of the
other behaviors that other people are responsible for that have nothing to do
with you. If you didn't do anything wrong, don't apologize. Sometimes we like
to apologize for things we didn't do to simply smooth things over with someone.
Don't Just be responsible for yourself and let everyone else do the same.
5. Having an opinion
"I'm sorry you
feel that way but I don't think I did anything wrong". "I'm sorry but
I don't agree".
Don't agree with
something someone is saying? State your own views and don't be sorry about it.
Period.
5. Your health and
your body
People tend to have
something to say whether you are curvy or skinny. If you're curvy, you eat too
much of the wrong stuff. If you're skinny, you don't eat enough of the right
stuff. The fact is, your health is up to you and whether you are rounder or
skinner, everyone has a different size and body weight they are comfortable
with. Speaking of health, whether you're just feeing under the weather or have
health problems that cause you to have less energy or whatever it might be,
there is absolutely no need to apologize. Just skip the "I'm sorry, I'm not myself today"
or "I'm sorry I can't keep up".
