1. Blaming Others
It is easy to blame others and not take responsibility for our problems. But doing so only makes you a slave to circumstance. We are here to learn lessons. Once we learn a lesson we move on to the next one. However, if we fail to learn a lesson, we keep finding opportunities to learn it again and again. Blaming others tricks you into thinking that you have solved a problem, when in reality, you are just failing to learn the lesson presented to you. Trying to assign blame only holds you back from moving forward, whether that be moving on to finding a solution or moving on to your next lesson.
The truth is, we have nobody to blame but ourselves for our circumstances because everything that happens to us is a product of own creation. Take ownership of your life and your problems- it will empower you as opposed to making you feel like everything is against you and there is nothing you can do about it.
2. Needing To Be Right
When we receive criticism or are confronted with an opposing view, we often tend to feel the need to defend our position and prove why we are right. Our opinions and positions are all a matter of perspective. With so many factors at play (personal growth, environmental, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual), everyone is going to have their own truth and a unique way of seeing things and viewing the world. What is true for you, may not be true for someone else. Your views may not resonate with someone else. Learn to accept this, respect the other person for where they may be coming from or be at in their life, and move on.
3. Living In The Past, Or Future
Being present is difficult, but it is absolutely necessary in order to be happy. I think we often live in the past or the future, but rarely in our present. If your mind is always some place else, how could you possibly enjoy what is happening right now?
How often do you replay the past in your mind- regretting what you said, reliving the pain someone once caused you or wondering if you just did this or that, things would be different? How often do you comment on how thin or youthful you used to be? You are living in the past. Let it go! Release yourself from these burdens. The Vacuum Law of Prosperity states that “two things cannot take up the same space, so we must let something go before the new can enter”.
How often to do you drive and think about work? Take a shower and think about all the things you need to do tomorrow? Or how often are you watching your TV show and then realize you weren’t actually pay attention? You are living in the future and failing to be present in your life right now. Or let me guess- you want more money, more adventure, a better job, a nicer home, prettier hair. And if you just had these things you would enjoy life so much more. Right? Wrong. The future is an illusion, something completely made up in your mind. Stop waiting for a “better” life and appreciate your only life that really exists- the one you are living now. Work towards something but enjoy the journey. Don’t succumb to a vicious cycle of overbearing productivity that forces you to constantly think about every time, place and circumstance except right here, right now.
If you live in the burdens of the past or the illusion of the future, you will fail to see your beauty, the beauty of the moment and the blessings in your life.
4. Comparing Yourself To Others
Comparing yourself and your life to other people and their lives is a very common and destructive habit we tend to have. There will always be people in the world who are better looking than you, who have more and who are better at this or that than you are. Constantly comparing ourselves to others plummets our self esteem and leaves us wishing we had more or that we were something that we are not, when in fact we have everything we need and we are beautiful and worthy ourselves. Instead of comparing, appreciate what is positive in both yourself and others, as separate entities. Cultivate gratitude! You have so much to be grateful for.
5. Feeling Unworthy
"Stop striving for perfection, you’ll never reach it” - Walt Disney
We set up in our minds what it means to be perfect and successful (as a person, as a partner, in our careers, etc), we strive for it, then when we fall short we feel less than. It is wise to have goals and ambitions and to want to evolve as a person, but setting unrealistic expectations of being perfect is destructive. Instead of looking at what you see as your flaws, focus on all your great qualities. Instead of obsessing over mistakes or what you perceive as failure, focus on your progress rather than perfection- how far you’ve come instead of how far you have to go.
So many of us create prerequisites for being worthy- I’ll be worthy when I lose weight, when I get a promotion, when I get married, if I am a good parent…if I change my hair color to blonde…………if I can do a back flip. Who knows that else. We have all felt less than at one time or another, and our worthiness is on the line when we feel like we aren't ___ enough (you can fill in the blank: thin, pretty, smart, popular, admired, rich). We pick ourselves apart and feel unworthy of love and joy when we compare ourselves to this person who is skinnier, who has the perfect nose, the great job, the good relationship, etc (refer to #4).
Let go of your prerequisites for worthiness and realize that you are worthy- right now, as you are. Learn to value deeper virtues (aka- stop being so superficial). Appreciate your compassion, honesty, character, heart and other virtues that are worth a damn. Cultivate the courage, compassion, and connection that we need to embrace our imperfections and to recognize that we are enough. If we want to fully experience love and belonging and happiness, we must believe that we are worthy of those things.
Labels:
Thoughts
